January, often the hardest month of the year for me, it has always seemed such a long, dark, depressing month. THIS year, however, I feel wildly optimistic so far (for no apparent reason!) despite starting 2015 by battling a stomach bug. This could be just an early refusal to submit to the inevitable: will the expected rain, sleet, fog and seemingly endless darkness of sodden, stubbornly dour Late Winter North Wales yet batter me into submission? Check back with me around the 20th to see if my buoyant mood remains.
And yet this year the hills and mountains are still green. The bracken has turned brown but patches of bright heather remain. Late summer flowers, usually long gone, still bloom here and there, blossoms are bursting from the trees early in patches of unbowed glee. Last night I drove home noticing patches of frosted grass on the verges twinkling like glass glitter despite the warmish early evening air and saw a huge yellow moon rising over the hedgerows. It was quite breathtaking and as ever at such moments, I didn't have my camera. It seems I'm not alone in my refusal to wallow in depression under January's usual cloak of bone-achingly damp gloom. Nature has also decided enough is enough.
My good mood may have something to do with the fact that I have managed to disentangle myself from a number of thankless commitments and finished some projects which had dragged on well beyond the death of my enthusiasm for them. I am free to work on dolls again and for now, at least, the bills are paid and I am refusing to indulge in my worst old habit: "future worry". The future comes and is what it is, my worrying has never altered it's shape and so I am finally done with it. Freedom indeed :o)