Saturday, August 31, 2013

Who's the Daddy?

The ever thought provoking C, recently brought up the concept of "Fantasy Dad's" on her blog, something I was not familiar with, and it has got me thinking. Now my head hurts because I try to avoid that whenever possible ;o)

I never got the chance to know my own Dad and my Step-father and I never had a warm or even particularly friendly relationship, so the role a Father plays in most women's lives has always been a little bit of a mystery to me. Sadly, in this era of the Single Mother I think more and more people of either sex are experiencing that gap. The Press have also firmly planted the idea in our heads that there is a Paedophile round every corner and so men are generally mistrusted around children, whether related to them or not. Many a Fantasy Dad was created in impressionable minds through the TV screen of our youth but now Operation Yewtree has revealed them in a sinister light. It's a sad state of affairs and frankly one that only men can redress.

Thankfully, I had my wonderful and loveable Grandfather, George, in my life and his equally endearing brothers, Alf, Stan, Hugh and Tommy. They came from an era where even very young men donned uniforms and risked, and often lost, their lives. When I think of those men they seem innocent somehow, they rarely swore or drank. Rarely lost their tempers, hardly raised their voices - let alone their hands - in anger. Am I misremembering them as saints? Hardly, they had their fun and their vices but still they seemed wholesome somehow, and all believed in shouldering their responsibilities and doing what's right. Have we lost all that? I hope not.

4 comments:

Georgina said...

Oh Yve, I could write plenty about your last line. Indeed, is all that gone? Thankfully, just as I'm thinking that all that is dead in the past, something wonderful happens.

Case in point, the other day while I was attempting to get my mother out of my car parked in the entrance of her nursing home; she's almost 91 and is now confined to a wheel chair, making it difficult to lift her, I had a good grip on her but she gave way and we were both slowly falling to the ground. At that moment I heard a woman's voice yell out, "They're falling, help them!" Two very nice young strangers came to our rescue. My mother, being the "dirty ol' lady" she is, thanked them in her bubbly manner and commented how lucky she was to have two good-looking men help her..actually, they helped me!! haha!!

Sadly, they were coming out of the hospice facility, just loosing their mother to cancer, but there they were, ready to help two rather helpless older ladies. Chivalry is not dead, not yet.

As for my own father, I still miss him terribly after 5 years. He was very typical of a Mexican male, strict, unbending and terribly protective of his daughters and yet, gave his sons liberty to do as they felt, being men and all...wink, wink, nudge, nudge! My sister and I used to joke with him about his double-standards, and he used to kid my mother about how cheeky she would get when "your two very liberal daughters are around," but that's just how he rolled. Mostly, he ferociously loved his family and took care of us.

Thankfully, you had some men in your life who were "good people." Well, time to hit the kitchen for some breakfast, take care and have a wonderful weekend, my young friend.

xxoo,
Georgina

Yve said...

Yeah, there are still plenty of nights in shinning armour around, just such a shame about all the kids who are growing up these days without any father figure in their lives at all. Too many. For a boy that must be doubly tough.

C said...

Ah, thanks, Yve! :-)
Good to know you had those lovely male role models in your life in spite of never knowing your real father and the relationship with your stepfather. I think I found my male role models (and a father figure or two) later in life - just decent, caring men who I've worked with or befriended, all of whom have ensured that I retain a balanced view in spite of all the horrible stuff we keep reading about in the news etc.
Oh and I'm wondering now about starting a 'Fantasy Brother' list...

Yve said...

Tee hee, go girl. I already have a real brother but always wondered what it would be like to have a sister, so I might do a fantasy sister list ;o)