Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I hope there are no crows in the sky...

Changed my icon to my right eye... it's symbolic of a change I am trying to make... I want a constant reminder of something I have forgotten or let slip away, the fact that I am an eye, I see and my hands interpret. For a few years my icon has been a profile pic of me looking off into the distance and has proved to be oddly prophetic. I'm just passive and waiting and distanced, stalled, personal projects get abandoned, put aside, what am I waiting for?

I have always drawn, since I was very small, and my thoughts are all over sketch books that have no relevance once they are finished and get thrown away. They are just a means to an end, a series of ends, always ongoing. But I stopped drawing a few years back, 6 in fact. Yes, I have made brief forays back to the sketch pad and produced paper dolls or whatever, and in my design work I draw constantly and under pressure. The problem is that I produce pretty images to fit a product or someone else's idea of what that product needs (don't chose "design" if you are hung up on self-expression!). I also produce them on a tablet straight into the mac. I rarely even stop to do a thumbnail sketch anymore because this has become like second nature... it isn't the same as physically drawing though.

It definitely isn't the same as having the tiny seed of an idea, working on it and expanding it and cropping, changing, tweaking until it grows into something I probably wasn't expecting. I love that aspect of drawing so much, it's when I forget all about myself and my stupid problems. It also let's me break free from my bubble of self obsession, self doubt, self consciousness, self, self, self, etc... you have to look outside yourself and drawing makes me confident. I become so interested in what I am doing that I forget about me altogether and want to be around people, exchange ideas and live instead of existing.

I feel like a snail poking a wary eye out on a stalk to take a look around, I've been in this shell too damn long... wish me luck!


C said...

Draw, draw, draw, Yve! There's nothing to stop you. And it's so nice to hear you explain the positives of it in the way you have, a timely reminder.
With my new workload I've rediscovered the absolute joy in developing something with a pencil on paper - as opposed to actually painting a finished piece, strangely enough. I'd been so busy developing paintings and paint styles as speculative work that I'd got hung up on 'results' and foregone the simple joy to be had in the preliminary pencil stages. Now I'm working my way through some very detailed roughs for one book, and developing some character studies for another, that I am absolutely loving JUST sitting down and drawing all day long. Not even drawing from life, but drawing from my imagination, so it's even more free, although still depends on that seeing eye! Just do it!

Yve said...

I know you can't show anything until it's published but I can't wait to see what you are cooking up. There is just something so freeing about sketching doodling and working through ideas straight onto paper, especially when you don't expect anyone else to see the results! I don't think you can beat it and working straight into the mac (which has definite strengths for a finished piece) just doesn't give you that same immediacy. My work has become so tight and controlled and deliberate.

I need to get back into that old art college mind set of throwing paint and ink around and getting my paws dirty and generally not giving a damn... you find new directions that way. It sounds as though you are revelling in that stage right now.

Ooohhh, speak of the devil, Quentin Blake on the telly!

Penny said...

Oh yes, just go for it! Doing anything with our hands that has no expected result, no boundaries or rules is the best gift we can give ourselves. I love the thought of you just picking up pencil and paper and seeing where it takes you - an adventure into the unknown, always exciting.