Wednesday, July 4, 2012

We need to talk about Boobs!

OK, thought that would get your attention! More precisely, we need to talk about bras... a new bra to be exact, the incomfortable-ness of which has just driven me to interrupt my barely begun working day because of underwire rib pokage. Not something that can ever be ignored for long.

What is it with bras lately, they don't lift, they don't separate, they don't allow you to move with freedom and in many cases they don't allow you to get through the day without a really bad headache and stiff neck? It wasn't always this way, no, there were certain shops on the High Street, _&_ , in particular, who could always be relied upon to support your assets, but not any longer. No, even our High Street dependables have succumbed to the pursuit of profit over anything approaching  quality and now get everything made in China on the cheap.

When I say "cheap" that doesn't seem to be "cheap" to us the consumer, just cheaper for them to manufacture and sell at the old price, hence more profit. I'm sure they will insist that we still get quality in the lovely fabrics and design - no argument from me there - but to my mind the whole point of a bra is to make a woman look and feel good. I can find bras on the High Street that make me look good, but they can only be worn for an hour, maybe two, before terrible neck, shoulder and head pain begins to set in and so I have settled for comfort... and wear my bouncy baubles considerably lower than I used to!

I know someone is bound to chirp up with another High Street name who purport to support the more well endowed lady with wide strappage (the name begins in Bra and ends in a strangely masculine "o") but I have found their sales staff too aggressively sure that I don't know my own bra size (...of course I know my size - anything between a 34D and a 36G, depending on the style, the shop and of course, sometimes it will be both extremes in the same style in the same shop... I recently tried on a bra that didn't even have two cups of the same size) before I even try anything on and simply won't leave me alone to browse. They may indeed have the perfect combination of comfort, support and style for me on one of their dainty little hangers but I have never remained unharassed by the sales-harpies for long enough to find it.

Imagine my distress, when recently, despite being far less than half the reputed 25 stone of the late great Hattie Jacques, I was addressed as "Matronly" by my own mother who was so appalled at the effects of gravity on my underpinnings. I had resorted (as usual) to my ancient battleship grey (it began life as a perky blinding white) lycra "T Shirt" bra, purchased, if my sepia tinted memory serves, from one of those backwater Underwear-only emporiums where well-upholstered Mrs Slocombe-like attendants roamed with a tape measures slung casually round their necks. Yes, those places ONLY sold underwear, could tell your size, cup and marital status from the merest glance and seem to have all disappeared along with any hope I have of finding a well fitting, supportive boulder holder that isn't some kind of torture device. I despair!

9 comments:

C said...

Never have I been quite so entertained when reading about bras! (not that I read about them often...) Well I wish you luck - being of fairly modest proportions in that department I get very lax about what I buy, often I don't check to see first if they fit properly and mostly I slop about (hopefully not too literally) - when I'm at home - without one. But my white ones do indeed turn battleship grey - and my black ones seem to as well sometimes - they really should make battleship grey underwear fashionable and then we wouldn't have to worry. As for comfort, I've seen those ads on the TV for 'Ahh bras' and sometimes wondered about them - ever given them a try?

Yve said...

I see the little in-store TV ads in Boots for one, I even thought of taking a punt (yes, these days buying underwear seems like a gambling, don't get me started on knickers!) but the sizing was a bit mystifying. I feel at some point I will result to making my own Heath Robinson affair ;o)

Yve said...

I think I meant "resort"!!! ;o)

drixnot said...

Why not try your hand at designing and sewing one of your own? Once you hit on the right pattern you could make as many as you want... at a fraction of the price.

Yve said...

Don't tempt me, I keep thinking I need to just make different straps. If you think about it, if your shopping bags handles were made of fine stretchy lycra straps they would cut through your hands, but made from something wider with less stretch they don't hurt. So if the bra straps are wider and made from something with less stretch, they won't cause the head and neck pain!

Yve said...

PS: Drixnot, I love your (highly misplaced) faith in me and my trusty sewing machine ;o)

BlackCrow said...

Hi Yve...I miss read the title of the conversation thought you wrote books not boobs! But I read on..I went through the same dilemma a few years ago..I'm not all that big but I certainly don't need extra padding which seems to be how every bra is made these days. And I hate the wire! I found the answer was SPORTS BRA'S, not very attractive I know but really comfortable. I only wear my Elle Mcphersons for special occasions!
xx

Yve said...

I know, it's crazy about the padding! Seriously Mr Bra Manufacturer (for we know you are a MAN) a gal with anything more than a B cup don't want no padding, she can provide her own!!!

I presume that's the Elle McPherson SPORTS bra for special occasions, Grace? ;o) Tee hee. I can't do sports bras they give me serious mono-boob, I look like I have one of those life belt things on you are supposed to wear in a boating accident.

BlackCrow said...

Sorry I can't stop laughing!