Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sharpening my claws

Random thought for the day: Emery boards, are they the Beauty Industries biggest con?

Since childhood I have been blessed with the kind of talons that would do Godzilla proud, if I had grown up a post-apocalyptic feral child (as was often threatened during the 70's, remember all those bomb drills?) I could easily have ripped flesh from passing beasts and dug myself shelter with these 20 steel claws of mine. Actually, let's be honest, my toenails have actually hardened over the years and are now more like that Adamantium stuff that Wolverine is made from than cuddly old steel, but, I digress...

I've also had the same steel nail file since my early teens and despite passing fads for square nails I have always had longish almond shaped nails, usually nude of varnish (except the Adamantium toe sheaths, they are always painted!). I've never really suffered from cracks or snags or breakages, never needed vitamin supplements and often been the subject of claw-based awe and envy among my female friends... except for the last few years... why?

Because - I lost my steel file and couldn't get another from my local chemists so started to use emery boards, those bright shiny colourfull bits of card with what looks like sand glued to them. All my friends had started using them ages before because Steel files cause snags and breaks and weaken the nails or so they had read in women's magazines. Well, the sneaky product placements made to look like a "product review" that you get so much of in women's magazines. It took quite a while to get used to the fact that I always seemed to have a permanent build up of dust under my nails which has to be scrubbed away with a brush under the tap. Yuk. My fingers have felt sub-parr and blunted, and, horror, they have started to crack and chip, begun getting weird little snags. I have given up on wearing anything less than 900 denier in the tights department as merely getting them out of the pack means they get laddered on my jagged edged digits. The worst side effect of the emery boards is the horrid and often painful cracked skin at the edge of each nail... I had put it all down to age!

While I was packing up to move house I found, Taaa daaa, my long lost steel nail file! Joy!!! I have been using it again and the old claws survived the move in fine form and are beginning to feel right again, I pruned each nail down quite short to rid myself of the jagged emery board tainted growth and they are already beginning to return to their former glory. If you think about it, you buy one steel nail file, and unless, like me, you lose it, that's it for life. I guess some bright spark in the Beauty Industry thought, hang on, that's no use: "These paper things can be made in China for a few cents and we can colour them and print on them and best of all they wear out in no time, so we can keep selling more and more to the suckers! Now we just need to invent a reason that steel files are bad for you and we are in business!"

Don't get me started on tongue scrapers!

4 comments:

BlackCrow said...

I had something intelligent and witty to write but completely forgot it when I read the last line, 'don't get me started on tongue scrappers'!
I'm happy you found your lucky nail file!

Yve said...

So am I Grace, I feel like a tiger again these days ;o)

Wendy said...

As one with nails of paper (I wouldn't be able to scratch the surface of a sand pile in case of emergency, unlike you) I am quite jealous. However, I am happy for you that you found your trusty, beloved, steel file. I guess moving does have an upside!

Yve said...

Tee hee ;o)